Squeeze Some Fun into Your Work/Life Balance
By Hillary S. Goodell – Environmental consulting project manager, Mom to (almost) 2-year old Nat, and wannabe adventure blogger
As working women and mothers, we all hear the well intentioned advice to make sure we make time for us. The magazines and social media memes remind us that we can’t pour from an empty cup. Yes. Of course. I get that. But how do I treat myself when my job, family, and basic life activities such as sleep hog 99% of my time?
It’s super hard, isn’t it? Even with the most caring and supportive husband, I can’t even come close to my pre-child lifestyle. While I don’t miss the late nights out, I do desperately long for the weekends when I could go hiking, kayaking, or running for hours without worry. I wish I could tell you that I have made time for all of those activities in the past two years since my son was born, but that would be a lie. I’ve gone hiking (alone) 2 or 3 times. I’ve kayaked only once. I’ll go for a run here or there, but I’m back home within an hour.
As a working mom, finding a way to work fun into my life balance is riddled with guilt. I only see my son 3 or 4 hours a day during the week while I’m in the office full time. Weekend time is spent catching up on my marriage, housework, and hugs. If I do make time for fun, I’m left catching up or missing out for the rest of the week.
I’m sure this situation isn’t unique. I bet most of you reading this can identify and sympathize with my woes. So what do we do about it? I don’t believe in complaining if you aren’t going to try to fix the problem. I once saw a sign posted in a hospital that read “Complaining without offering a solution is just whining.” That had stuck with me for years and I try to apply it to my job, my parenting, and all aspects of my life. Here are my three well-intentioned bits of advice to limit the whining and work some FUN into my work/life balance:
- Schedule ahead of time: work my fun into my calendar like I would any other appointment. This also keeps my husband involved with planning and he isn’t caught by surprise if I want to get off the grid for a day. When my friends and I start talking about a trip to the mountains, our families are involved from the get-go so everyone is on board.
- Make fun a recurring event: tagging along with #1, get your time on a recurring schedule. Come spring time, I’m setting up a standing monthly pedicure appointment. If it’s already on your calendar, you’re less likely to put it off.
- Bring the family along: yes, it’s awesome to get alone time. But sometimes your fun activities are family friendly but just take extra effort. For me, camping is this type of fun. If I want to go camping, I need to arrange my work schedule, have my husband arrange his work schedule, ensure my son doesn’t have a conflict, and then make it happen. I also make the lists, do the packing and the shopping. Lucky for me, I find camping planning to be super awesome, so this doesn’t bring me down. Once again, #1 comes into play because family fun almost always requires so. much. scheduling.
All of this comes with a disclaimer. If at anytime the stress and worry that goes into to squeezing fun into your life outweigh the joy you get from the fun, it’s OK to stop. Fun is not required. Fun is ultimately a luxury that we all need to try to afford but may not be able to during lean times. Sometimes a work deadline or travel requirements will kill your fun. I know I’ve often found myself working late at night just to keep up with day to day tasks. Your kid may come home with a norovirus that quickly spreads to you and finds you puking in your husband’s car on the way home. I can’t be the only one this has happened to, right?
It’s also OK for fun to be rare. Spending just one weekend a year with your friends is great. It’s better than no weekends. Signing up for a weekly art class and only making it to class on the first week totally counts as fun. Even going for a walk around a pretty park once a month is a simple way to work fun into your work/life balance. As with all things, starting small and building up is a sound approach.
If you’re like me and you find you’re missing fun in your already busy life, work along with me to stop whining and figure out a solution. Family, work, and life obligations wear us all down on a daily basis. Put a plan in place to schedule the fun you crave and deserve.
