4 Simple Rules to Aging Gracefully and Having It All
By Patrice Hazam
Holding my toddler, in just my night gown, slippers and hair bonnet, I stood on my front porch today waving goodbye to my husband as he left for work…and it clicked! Aside from the countless fashion and etiquette faux pas (internet, please don’t come for me), you may wonder what this has to do with aging gracefully or having “it all”.
When I was a kid, I thought my parents were the most embarrassing people on the planet. My dad would mow the lawn in super short Larry Bird style, 70’s shorts. Clearly, this was NOT acceptable behavior, but when I would lament to my mother, she acted like I was the one who was mistaken. Clearly this was, not only an acceptable look, but (in some alternate universe) also very attractive. But, of course, this was coming from the woman that would regularly summon for me in a robe and slippers, whilst I played with neighborhood friends. Need I say more?!?!
Fast forward a couple of years (no need to count), and here I am in a nighty on the front porch. That was when it clicked! I had reached the top level of adulting/parenting/having “it all”. I proudly, stepped onto that porch in all my unkempt glory. How did I reach that level, you ask. Well first, I’d like to thank my child for the sleep deprivation. There is clearly a correlation between sleep and caring. And that’s not to say that I don’t care about my appearance, I just don’t care about what other people think. And dropping that (metaphorical) weight was the most freeing thing I could do for myself. Obviously, there are times when appearance matters, and you must follow societies rules, blah, blah, blah. But my front porch at 7am, isn’t one of them. And in that moment, much like my boobs, my cares were blowing in the wind. And I was truly happy, I had “it” all, #coolandcarefree (shout out to the quad). Side-note, I still don’t know what “it” is, but I have it…I think?!?!
Now that we’ve accomplished having “it” all, I will impart on you my wisdom of aging gracefully. My mother always told me that there were only two choices in life, when it comes to aging. You can either get older, or well, you can figure out the other one. That makes getting older seem pretty appealing in my opinion. I should probably just have removed the word “gracefully” from the title, but you probably wouldn’t have read this if the title was “how to age” would you? Well, now you’re hooked…hehehe.
Getting older is hard, not because of the number of candles on your cake is quickly approaching the need for a campfire permit, but because while getting older we make mistakes, learn lessons, struggle, and survive. Should it really be graceful? I’ve learned some of my best lessons in life from totally screwing up and then finding a way to overcome it. Without the struggle, we are simply standing still. I fully accept the battle wounds of wisdom!
To better understand aging, gracefully or not, I interviewed the wisest, aka oldest, people I know. My grandfather is 103 this year and my grandmothers are both in their late 90’s. Each with very active lives, living alone and traveling the world. Mind you, these women also raised 6 and 11 children, worked full time, and all of this before the invention of the ipad. That alone baffles me. And these women still can’t sit still. One recently returned from a trip to Alaska and the other is constantly out all hours of the night. All the while, these each continue to volunteer in their communities and care for the sick. Ugh, just writing this is making me tired. Now THESE WOMEN, “have it all”.
My mom always told me, you only have two choices in life, get older or, well you know. So getting older certainly sounds appealing when you put it that way. So how can I kill it, like my grandparents? I observed them and asked each of my grandparents how they remained so healthily, active, and, of course, #coolandcarefree. Taking care of others seemed to be a common thread, I mean they did have a million children. And to think, I thought this little girl would be the death of me. When I asked my grandfather how he lived so long he told me “beans and oatmeal”.
The moral of this story is, you shouldn’t care what others think and you should eat oatmeal and beans every day. Trust me, I’m a doctor (not that kind of doctor…and please don’t trust me). And for those astute readers out there, asking “what happened to the 4 rules?”, here you go:
- Let go of self-consciousness and prioritize your feelings over other’s judgements. Disregard any negativity.
- Wear a night gown on your porch…without a bra!
- Take care of others, your kids, your partner, whoever.
- And eat lots of oatmeal and beans.
