Frequently Asked Questions to Help Other Moms
By Kate McChesney
I am so fortunate to have a career that I love. One of the things I love the most about it is that it often allows me the opportunity to help other parents. I can’t tell you how many times a day I need help as a parent, and how much it always means to me. So, when I get to do that for another parent, it’s very special.
I am a speech-language pathologist who works with children. I have worked in elementary school, middle school, high school, and in early intervention (birth – 3-years-old). I also have 2 young children at home. When people find out what I do for a living, I usually hear one of my frequently asked questions next. So, I wanted to get all of this information out there.
1.”My 15-month-old/18-month-old/2-year-old isn’t talking yet. Should I be worried?”
Meeting milestones (of all types) is always a big concern for parents.
The link below will take you to an amazing (free) and comprehensive resource outlining speech and language milestones. If you’re concerned, it’s worth a read-through to help you understand exactly what is “normal.”
Remember, there is more to communication than saying words. Look at pre-speech skills, as well. Is the child babbling? Is the child pointing? Making eye contact? Engaging in joint attention (sharing attention to the same thing as another person)? Is the child responding to words?
If the child is progressing through other communication skills, there is less need to worry than if they are not.
2. “My toddler/preschooler suddenly started stuttering.”
Here are my follow-up questions:
Is the child repeating words (I like I like I like cookies) or sounds (I like c-c-c-cookies)? Is the child showing signs of any tension or abnormal movements in their face, neck, or body when stuttering? Is there a significant family history of stuttering? Does the child seem to be aware of or bothered by their stuttering? Has the stuttering been going on for 6 months or less?
If the child is repeating words, having no tension or abnormal movements, has no family history, seems unaware or unbothered by the stuttering, and has been stuttering for less than 6 months – don’t worry!
Believe it or not, this can be normal! Children of this age are learning so many skills at the same time. Their brains and bodies are developing so quickly. Sometimes, their brains and mouths operate at different speeds.
What do I do?
Basically, not much! Don’t tell the child to “slow down,” “take a deep breath” or anything like that. It wouldn’t help anyway. Make sure that, whenever possible, you and other caregivers model slow, smooth speech, but don’t require the child to repeat themselves.
If stuttering persists longer than 3 months, the child exhibits signs of muscle tension when stuttering, or the child seems frustrated or otherwise bothered by the stuttering, seek help from a speech-language pathologist.
3. “I heard that sippy cups are bad for their teeth/speech.”
There is nothing categorically wrong with sippy cups. Kids need to drink, and parents need cups that won’t spill everywhere! However, most “sippy cups” with a spout are really no different from bottles, in terms of how the mouth moves to use them. Prolonged use of sippy cups, bottles, or pacifiers can cause issues with dentition and speech development.
I MUCH prefer teaching children to use straw cups, open cups, or those “360” cups that have become popular recently.
4. “I hear a lot about sign language with babies and toddlers, but I’m worried it will make my child not talk.”
This is a common myth. The truth is the opposite. Signing with toddlers can actually improve speech, and definitely improves communication.
“Speech” refers to the sounds our mouths make when we talk. “Language” refers to the meaning behind the sounds. Using sign language can give children an alternate way to communicate.
Children generally develop the motor skills they need to do some simple signs before they develop the motor skills needed to produce many speech sounds. So, they can sign before they speak. For children who have difficulty with speech, signs can give them a way to communicate with others. This can lessen frustration for everyone. And everyone learns better when they’re not frustrated.
My favorite resource for singing with kids is Signing Time. https://www.signingtime.com/
5. “My child is not talking yet, but the pediatrician said we should wait until he/she is 2-years-old.”
This honestly knocks the wind out of me a little bit each time I hear it. The research shows better short-term and long-term outcomes for children who begin speech-language intervention earlier, vs. those who wait. I have so much respect for doctors, I really, really do. But they don’t have years of specialized training in language development and disorders like SLPs do. I believe that any concern warrants a look by an SLP.
6. “I have concerns about my child’s speech or communication. What can I do?”
The good news is that there are several easy things you and other caregivers can do to help speech and language development in young children.
Exposing your child to language is critical. Talk to baby. Tell baby about what you’re doing, what you’re going to do later. Show baby what you’re doing while you talk about it.
Reading books to baby is a GREAT and easy way to increase language exposure.
Respond to baby. When baby starts cooing and babbling, respond as if he/she is speaking. Make eye contact and talk back. It may feel silly at first, but it teaches baby the back-and-forth nature of conversation. It also teaches them that they can control their environment with their “words.”
For toddlers, introduce sign language. (See number 4 above).
Ask your pediatrician to screen your child’s hearing. If your child is not hearing language well, he/she will have trouble learning language well.
7. “I have concerns about my child’s speech or communication. How can I get help for him/her?”
Every state has early intervention programs for children ages birth-3. The link below can help you find the program in your state. http://ectacenter.org/contact/ptccoord.asp After age 3, children could get help through the local public school system in most places. Your pediatrician should be able to give you information on these programs. Families with children of any age can also seek help through private clinics or therapists. You can usually get an evaluation through a birth-3 or public school program for very little or nothing out of pocket.
Talk with your insurance company. I realize that it’s probably not anybody’s favorite thing to do, but you don’t want any expensive surprises. Find out what diagnostic and treatment codes are covered. Find out if there is a limit to the number of therapy sessions they cover. Share all this information with the professionals you’re working with.
*Trust your gut.
This is the most important thing. If you feel like something isn’t right, or if you have a nagging concern, trust your mom instinct. If the doctor says to wait, and you can’t sleep at night, insist on a referral. The worst thing that can happen is that you have an evaluation and the SLP gets to give you the good news that your child is doing fine. Then you have the opportunity to have a professional answer all of your questions, and you can sleep at night.