“You’re doing it wrong!” and other ways to help your child be a reader

By Viridiana Word 

When you are a working parent, getting your child to excel academically seems like an even harder task, since we are working on limited time, with (very) limited energy. The never-ending battle over homework and grades seems to be an even steeper hill to climb, especially when you are not available at all hours of the day to make appearances at school or be on the phone with a teacher. 

In my years working in the classroom, the most frequent lament I hear from my students’ parents is that they do not want to read. Reading, especially among adolescents, is not a task that would be welcomed with open arms, certainly not when there is a world of entertainment right there at their fingertips. However, reading continues to be one of those essential skills that allow a person to analyze the world around them. Reading habitually, I have found, develops a child’s vocabulary, sentence structure, and writing ability. It builds stamina and provides a glimpse into different worlds and opinions. Reading is a necessity.

When I was ten years old, my family and I immigrated to the United States from Mexico, and I did not speak a word of English. Fast-forward 25 years and not only do I speak it well, but I spend my work days helping young people analyze American Literature and losing their fear of writing. In college, it was apparent that my ability to write came easily to me, but it wasn’t because I was a natural writer—it was actually because I spent most of my childhood and adolescence reading. In fact, I attribute my ease with writing and grammar to this beloved habit of mine. 

While I share my love of reading with my own children and students, I am a very firm believer in the fact that if you do not like reading it is because you’re doing it wrong! Just like in dating, there is a special book (or books!) out there for every single one of us, we just have to find our lobster (thank you, Phoebe Buffay). In the quest to find your child’s true book love, there are four sneaky ways that I advise the parents that come to me and ask me what they can do to help their children be readers, which can be incorporated into the precious time you spend together as a family. 

1. Understand that a reading life looks different for different people. Long gone are the days in which being a reader meant carrying a huge book everywhere you went. In fact, this misconception is the reason most children who are not raised as readers often stay away from the habit (And, honestly, can you blame them?). Reading does not always come in this form, however, nor does it have to be a tremendous and arduous chore. Reading can be in the form of graphic novels, picture books, magazines, articles, short stories, etc. When hauling children from one end of town to the other, I oftentimes play a chapter from an audiobook containing short stories, and invite my children to chime in their opinions on the plot, characters etc. To them, it may seem like I am making random conversation, when in fact I am checking for their comprehension and analysis. Total teacher move, I know, but I don’t care! Listening to audiobooks—some of which you can find for free online— has gotten reluctant readers to entertain the idea of literacy without the thought that it is too much work, right in front of my eyes, time and time again. When something is being read to them, all they have to do is sit back and listen, but their little brains are still at work while they process the words and phrases. 

If you have beginning young readers, invite them to read billboard signs along the road. Have them read the text in a box of cookies, or a brown paper bag with a slogan. If the phrases contain exclamation marks, add that to the tone of the sentence. Encourage your child to read out loud anything and everything they see, and to use expression when doing so. My six year old son is a huge fan of Mo Willems. His stories are short and sweet, but the characters often yell at the top of their lungs. This is always a fun read aloud to his baby brother, who is happy with all the nose and pictures around him.  At the same time, your young reader is learning how to look for tone and the effects of punctuation. Win-win. 

2. Set a solid example of a reading life. It came as no surprise to anyone that knows me that my two oldest sons really enjoy reading.  They read to themselves, each other and to their baby brother. I once got curious and asked my teen why he enjoyed reading so much. His response: “I dunno (lately his response to everything), I just do. I always see YOU do it. Why do YOU like it so much?”  His smart-alec response got me thinking about my reading life and where I may have acquired this love for books. As it turns out, I always witnessed my father reading, whether to himself or to my brother and I. The truth is, if you expect your kids to acquire a love of reading—or at least be open to the idea of picking up a book—they need to see an example of what joy in reading looks like. The more they see it around them, the more they will be open to it. 

When they are little is the perfect time to instill this love of reading in them. Read to them often, give them books as gifts, take them to the bookstore or library. From a young and impressionable age, show them how to treat books with respect. My father, for instance, always insisted that we carefully turn pages from the top right, instead of damaging the books by quickly (and, in his  words, savagely) swiping from side to side. Books on the floor were also a no-no, along with dirty hands on books. Moreover, we had lots of books and magazines. Everywhere we looked in our home, there as something to read. This taught me that books were to be respected and cared for, which, believe it or not, gave mea whole new perspective on how I approached reading. Because my father made such a fuss about it, I knew reading was important to him, a sentiment that I seemed to have passed down to my boys. If your kids are not-so-little and you are late to the game, take comfort in knowing that my decade of working with teen-aged reluctant readers has taught me that it is never too late to teach a child that reading can be an amazing experience. They just need to find something that is right for them. 

3. Make it a social event. One of the best ways, I have found, to motivate young reluctant readers is to read a book with someone else, especially someone in their age group. Having someone who shares a literary experience with them takes the meaning of their reading to a whole new level. Whether they are reading something as simple as a graphic novel or a more complex text, discussing their reading with someone else provides a more enjoyable experience. Next time you buy a gift for someone, have it be a book that your child is reading, or pick up an extra copy to lend to a friend, or for yourself to read with your child and discuss later. These discussions can take place once a month at a coffee place, or can even be a lunch date. Now not inly are you promoting literacy with your child, but you are also spending quality time together, whether remotely reading your books, or together discussing them. 

If your child still does not have any friends who are willing to read with them, have them take the party online and review their readings on a website such as GoodReads or even Amazon. This alone helps them decompress their thoughts and process what they gained from reading this particular text.  In theory, they are being social about their reading by sharing their thoughts with the world. 

4. Make reading a priority, and establish a routine. Like I mentioned before, reading does not have to be an incredibly tedious chore. If it is, you are definitely doing it wrong and you have not found your reading groove. Reading does take work, but it should also be a soothing and relaxing experience. To help enhance it, have your child make a snack and find a quiet place to read, perhaps after a shower, before bed, or at any time you feel your child can dedicate 20 minutes of reading. My sons do so after we all get home from work and school, and while dinner is cooking, since it helps with the transition from school to home. The key here is to make time for it, and to be consistent. If reading is not made a priority, your child will find no reason for making the effort, especially if they are just starting to develop reading habits. 

Things to consider:

• Pay attention to your child’s reading levels, and make sure they are reading something that challenges them by making them think, but not so much that it feels like a chore. Ask your child’s teacher for recommendations if you are unsure of what they can handle. If your child is reading below their grade level, don’t despair! Encourage them to read what they are comfortable with so they can build reading stamina. A consistent reading life will eventually allow them to catch up. 
• Once your child has found an author or genre they like, run with it! Capitalize on the fact that they are reading something other that twitter and memes. Explore other titles by the same author, other authors in the same genre, etc. When my 13-year old picked up a memoir on the Vietnam War (which he heard me listening to in the car), I knew he did so mainly for the gory battle stories. This book, in my opinion, was way above his reading level, as the intended audience for this book is certainly not middle school boys. However, when I brought this up to a dear friend who happens to be an amazing reading specialist at our school, she gifted him a picture book on the subject. Days later, he was spewing off facts about the war as a whole, not just the battles but the economic effects, the culture of the decades in which it happened, and so on. Same subject, different author, and slightly different genre, and my boy got to explore this interest of his through two different voices. 
• Do not try and force them to read what you think they should be reading. However, if you feel it is the right time and your child has established a habit of reading. Subtly recommend a transitional book that could take them into exploration of different genres and authors. Start small—any book with fewer than 100 pages is a great point of transition. Remember, guiding a young reader, especially reluctant ones, is a balancing act. It is tricky, but very much worth the effort!