New year, new you, yeah right; How to get your resolutions to stick.
By Amber Bennett
Every year the ball drops and we make a promise to ourselves that this year will be different. We decide we’ll lose weight, quit yelling at the kids, start meal prepping, or some other thing we’ve never done before but feels like we should be doing to be a “better mom” (whatever that is). Here’s my suggestion, stop lying to yourself. I’ve done the same thing year after year and then I got mad and disappointed in myself on January 8 for not sticking with the changes I wanted to see in myself.
How can you make “resolutions” that stick? Here are 5 tips that may help you this year.
1. Wait until February
What’s worse that coming down from the holiday high when life outside looks lifeless than saying you’re going to start making changes when all you want to do is curl up on the couch and stay warm? Ok, I know not everyone reading this lives in Wisconsin like I do, but I’ve seen the US weather maps – we’ve gotten snow in Texas and the temps drop all over the place. It may not be -40 degrees out in January for you, but even that 50 degrees still seems cold. You’re still cleaning up the mess from the holidays and family gatherings, taking down decorations, and maybe nursing a New Year’s hangover yet. Don’t make major life decisions right now. Holiday bills will be coming in, we’ll start thinking about taxes; just don’t do that to yourself. Once February rolls around you’re in a better place to take a good, hard look at what you want to accomplish in the year.
What can you do in January? Make notes of the things you want to accomplish in the year. Keep a list to review in February. Note how you feel, review the previous year and see what you did accomplish and find gaps in your life you’d love to fill. Keep it on the positive side. Look for the good first, the haves not the have-nots. This will help improve your attitude and help you as you write your goals.
2. Write positive resolutions
The best way to start a new habit or change is to say what you want, not what you don’t want. Here are some better ways to write a good resolution
3. Go easy on yourself
New habits will stick better if you start small rather than go all in and realize that it’s just too much. Don’t go from zero exercise to wanting to work out 60 mins 5 days a week. You’ll burn yourself out and potentially really hurt yourself. If you’re starting at zero then you have to go to 1 before you can go to 10. What I mean is, if you’ve never exercised once in the last 30 days then start with 10 mins of exercise twice a week. It’s small. It won’t get you to your weight goal this week, but it will get you started. You’ll ease your body into the change. If you can do 10 mins twice a week, you can certainly do 15 minutes twice a week. By week four you might be up to 30 mins twice a week or 20 minutes 3 times a week and go from there.
4. It’s not all or nothing
Building on tip 3, don’t beat yourself up if you slip up. You have one life, it’s okay to make mistakes, be tired or sick, just don’t quit. If you miss a day, don’t worry you can start again tomorrow. Did you get caught in an emotional tornado and unleash the mom voice on the kids? It’s ok, apologize to them, let them know you’re trying, and keep going. Did you blow your budget this month? There will be more bills and more paychecks next month. The key here is to have more good days/months than slip ups.
5. Make sure you’re ready
If you’re really not determined to change you’ll keep telling yourself that next time you’ll do it better but next time never comes. If you’re finding that you’re apologizing to yourself more and more for not reaching the goal you thought you wanted, stop and re-evaluate. You need to know why you want to make the change you’ve set out to make. If you’re “why I’m doing this” is not strong enough, it doesn’t evoke emotion, you’re most likely not going to stick with it. Have a back and forth with yourself.
Say you want to reach 145 pounds… why?
“Well I have a class reunion coming up I want to look good for.”
Go deeper, why?
“Because I want to feel good when I walk in the room.”
Why?
“Because I always felt judged in high school and I want to feel like the sexiest mom in the room, to prove to myself and to them that I do have it all and my adult life isn’t a reflection of my youth.”
oh, that’s good. Tell me more – how will you feel walking into that room as the sexiest mom in the room? What will you be wearing? How will others react?
“I am going to walk tall in my red heals and favorite jeans. Everyone’s heads will turn and they’ll ask themselves if that’s me. I will have my arm linked in my husband’s and he will be smiling as big as I am. Everyone will want to know how I take such good care of myself.”
See what I did there? Can you do that with yourself too? Our why can’t always be built on the first thing we say to ourselves. We need to determine the emotions we’ll feel when reach our resolution in order to stick to our guns. Every time you see a sweet, ask yourself if it’s worth eating the cookie to lose out on the head turns. If the cookie is more important, go ahead and eat it – but if you REALLY want to stick to your resolution, you will remember your why and pass it up.