Working Mothers: A Personal History

By Amber Bennett

March is women’s history month, where we celebrate the women who really helped shape and build our society.  It’s a time to reflect on who we are as women. We examine what we are bringing to the table for the next generation but also rediscover our past.  As a child to a working mother in the 80s there were many things I didn’t like about having a working mom. I’m reminded every morning of these feelings when my 3-year-old sadly asks if “Mommy, do you have to go to work today” and I answer in the affirmative.  My mother worked from 10am to 7:30 pm with 6/2 schedule. Which means she worked for 6 days and had 2 days off except for when it fell on her weekends, in which she would have 3 days off two weeks in a row. I remember every year when her days off calendar would come home, I would highlight her off days for the whole year.

It was hard, having a mom that was only home when I woke up and right before I went to bed. It was tough on me that she “wouldn’t” volunteer at the school for anything. As a mom I get it now, she couldn’t coordinate school activities, even after school ones with the shift she worked. As a kid, I promised myself I would do those things, I would join the PTO and be a present mom, even if I worked. And as I sit here writing the first draft of this blog post pre-parent meeting at the school, I’d say I have fulfilled that promise.

As working moms we celebrate our independence in the workforce. Now being a few generations in from women really wanting to strike it out in the workplace and carve out our own paths and earn our own money, I want to take a moment and reflect back on what that means personally. How feelings have changed generationally.  So I decided to talk to my own mother about her experience as a working mother in the 80s and 90s.  I will note one big difference between her situation and mine, both my parents worked full time whereas in my house I work full time & run a side business and my husband is a stay at home father. Our challenges are different from a household perspective but from a working mother perspective, I think you’ll see how similar we still feel.

How long were you working before you had children?

My first full time job was in 1970 when I got out of high school, so 10 years.

And what was that job?

A year in upholstery and then I worked as a long distance operator at Michigan Bell Telephone.

Did you have many male co-workers?

No, not at Michigan Bell. The year I left there (1975) was the first year they even hired men in the traffic office as a long distance operator. In fact, the first man hired company-wide for that position was hired at my office. I believe it was also the first year they hired a woman as a line-man but she fizzled out because she couldn’t physically carry the cross-beams up the poles like the men could.

When you got pregnant did you have to quit your job?

No, as a matter of fact I went into labor at the switchboard

What was that like?

There was more concern with the nurse on duty at that time and my co-worker trying to get her stuff done on her day off so she could come in and relieve me from my shift.

I didn’t realize how quickly I was progressing because I didn’t have any pain. The nurse was worried that I was actually going to deliver at work because she understood the labor signs and progression.

Did you have a maternity leave?

6 weeks

Was it paid?

It was paid out of my time off and my sick time. It was not a company policy to pay for maternity leave.

What was it like raising children as a working mom in the 80s?

I missed out on a lot of stuff like holiday and stuff with you kids.

Do you feel there was a benefit to working?

Yes, because you kids would not have gotten any of the stuff that you did; like prom dresses, parties, presents, and going on trips because that all came out of my paycheck. And I really appreciated being able to give that to my children. However, in hind sight, my kids have told me that they would have given up the “stuff” to have gotten more quality time with me.

Did you ever feel discriminated against because you were a working mom?

Because I was holding a job position at the beginning of affirmative action, I was denied a lateral transfer because I was not a minority or married to a minority. So I had to quit my job. Then in 1981, due to downsizing a disabled person with less seniority was given a position instead of me and I lost my job again. Of course, those weren’t due to me being a working mom but the times I felt discriminated against.

I remember you taking a lot of time off whenever my sister or I were sick or had school functions. Do you feel that impacted your work?

It didn’t impact my quality of work but I wasn’t able to accrue and keep sick time because I was taking sick days for 3 people instead of one.

Do you feel your employer hired people without children more often than people with children?

No, I don’t think so. Not in my line of work.

Do you feel that being a working mother made you a better role model for your kids?

I wasn’t there to be a role model. The only thing I was being a role model for was making sure I was working. It was a position that required someone to be there at all times.

For me, it was normal that a mom went to work. It was just something we did. We took care of our families. Do you feel women have it easier or harder as working moms now-a-days?

I think that if people that have 2 parent households, that parents working cooperatively is more beneficial. I don’t feel that there has been any change in women working in the work force. I feel like if you look hard enough, you’ll find discrimination anywhere. Women have to look at the situation and discover if anything could or should be done about it. If anything should be done, do it at the time the situation arises so you’re not regretting decisions made 36 years ago.

My mom expressed a lot of the same feelings I have. Today, as my daughter asked me again to stay home from work I had to reflect on my years in the office. I work to provide for my family. It makes me feel good and like a contributor.  I also have a side gig that I am building so I can work on my own terms because what mother wouldn’t love to have the freedom of choice?